While the reasons men (or anyone in a committed relationship) might become bored or seek connections outside of marriage vary greatly, here are five common confessions from men that reflect some reasons they might stray into secret relationships while staying married. It’s worth noting these aren’t justifications, but rather perspectives that can sometimes surface in these situations:
1. “I feel unappreciated at home.” : Some men express feeling taken for granted or unrecognized in their long-term relationships. If they feel their contributions to the marriage or family go unnoticed, they may feel drawn to someone outside the relationship who makes them feel valued and acknowledged. CONTINUE BELOW
2. “Our physical relationship faded.”: After years of marriage, some men confess to missing the excitement and intimacy they once had with their spouse. If they feel a lack of physical closeness or excitement, they may seek it outside the relationship rather than addressing it at home, sometimes out of fear of rejection or difficult conversations.
3. “I needed someone to talk to.”: Emotional distance can arise if the couple stops sharing their feelings or if they become too busy for meaningful conversations. Some men admit that their secret relationships stemmed from finding someone who would listen to them in a way their spouse no longer does. This emotional connection can then grow into a physical relationship. CONTINUE BELOW
4. “I miss the feeling of being wanted.”
Over time, the initial spark in a relationship can fade, and people can sometimes feel like they’re more roommates than romantic partners. Some men confess to missing the thrill of being pursued or desired. When someone new shows interest, they feel flattered and energized, even if they don’t want to end their marriage.
5. “I still love my wife, but I crave variety.”
Some men report still loving their wives and enjoying their marriage but also crave novelty. They don’t want to lose the life they’ve built together but desire the excitement and unpredictability that a new relationship offers, seeking both stability and adventure simultaneously.
In many cases, these situations stem from communication gaps, unaddressed needs, or a lack of self-awareness.
